Dilemmas of a Cancer Indian Trapped in the City

i love whack bitches that's my fucken problem...
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121 posts tagged journal

My brother has a macbook that he doesn’t even use…

why did I not thinking of using this earlier? This little shit ass should just link me it because I would be more beneficial of a laptop than he would. But fuck it I will just it until he notices it is gone.

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My work says I am not to talk about anything outside of the work place with non-work employees. What the fuck is that not like I am gonna disclose money and shit but sometimes people be coming in banks and wild’n the fuck out. Child tax last Friday shit! was bumping like a mufucka. I am pretty sure they are going to take away my child tax after the year after next. I should just tell my BM to claim in it and ask her for half lol. For real tho, but she’s different. I do not know how to spell check on this fucken laptop. I never understand too much about laptops except how to delete the browser history and cookies. 

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Oh ya I have to apply for funding for the school year. I will do that now actually. 

I went and seen my son today to drop em some shrimp and French fries. This guys got no shirt on or socks on and tight up black jeans on. He looked like a lil Rez Indian for once.

CAN I GET A LITRE OF COLA…..

Ahhh I am all registered for my classes now. I switched em this morning because my hommie is taking classes and they are pretty much the same as mine just he was taking them at different times. I told em to switch em up so we could take classes together. We’ll have back to back classes, 930-1220, then we can go to the gym and then we’ll have different classes at 2. But that is pretty nice, should be interesting. I need to go see an academic adviser. Got a few questions I need to ask the person. It is nearly May in my city and it was -7 Celsius this morning. that’s 19.4 american temperature. Americans hated the British and shit so much they refused to follow their conversions and shiettttt always confuses a man when gas is measured by the gallon and not the litre. ITS FUCKEN COLD I SEEN SNOW YESTERDAY STILL 

Class registration

Well I know classes just ended but I already gotta register for next semester. My registration date for courses is in like an hour and I am kind of in a predicament. Like I can go to school Monday and Wednesday’s from 930-1230 then 2-320, that is 3 classes. Or I can go from 11-320. With no break. I am up at 8 everyday with my son anyways. Same time I do not know if I would like an hour and a half break. Kind of fell rushed in the AM. I think I will just do the 3 classes back to back,… 

I seen some Indian’s post on Instagram about “a baby was cured from HIV yesterday, not from your god, not from your prayers, but from science” and had all these #athiest type hashtags and it was the first time Ive seen an Indian who didn’t believe in something. But I remember reading about what she’s talking about. Happened back in March. I felt and wanted to comment but I don’t know her and then I’d probably end up arguing with her and she’d refuse to acknowledge I’m right. Cuz the baby wasn’t tested when born. And other people have been “functionally” cured aka it goes away remotely and is only shown traces when extreme tests are done. But still got it. Along them lines. But then she’d think I was a religious fanatic which I’m not. Believe in Creator. And I ain’t talking Tyler. But I’m all for religion if it helps a person become a better human. Like the bible really helped my grandma overcome a lot of things. So as much as I’m against Indians who believe in it because of how things that happened to my ancestors through colonization and residential schools and the list can go on and on but at the end of the day if it makes you not be an evil of a better person then by all means I respect it.

Yeah, early morning father shit

My sons a funny guy. Just proud little Indian. He said he gets a free book from school cause he’s Indian. Then he was about to leave and he’s like oh I forgot something. Then he went downstairs and grabbed his medicine that my mom gave em to protect him the other day. He put it in his jacket pocket and left. Glad he’s growing up to be proud of his Native side. His mom told me one time “tell Dante he’s not only Indian and that he’s more Filipino than anything” LOL I said it’s not my job to teach him how to be Filipino. Not my fault you married a white guy and aren’t to connected to your heritage. But it’s cool. I’m Sioux, and in the teaching there’s this story about 7 generations or cycles to replenish the body and family right. Cause my families been through a lot and apparently my son is that 8th generation where they won’t feel the effect of the past, instead a new cycle begins and it’s suppose to be an end of suffering for my family. Interesting stuff I tell you.

Back on it.

I’m so tired and exhausted from school. But it’s done. I got a few errands to do tmw. Other than that I’m doing fuck all. Can’t wait to get my eating habits back in order. Been eating like shit lately. Back to chicken and fish that’s cooked from home. Body can’t take eating all this fried food. Just makes me lethargic I get this flem build up. Reminds me Of when I use to smoke. I’m out tho. Time for a good night sleep. Bless. Oh ya and get back on my nba playoffs.

Treat it like boxing, stick and move, stick and move….

Damn, tomorrow is my final exam for school and then I am done. Shit time is going by fast. Mufuckan Statistics. Then 8 classes or 2 semesters next year and I am done. Shit, that’s gonna be weird. After working so hard for something for so long and completing it. Then it’s the real world. That’s dope…

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I learned this weekend that Treaty 7 will pay the 10% down payment for a house if you qualify. If you continue to pay the mortgage for 5 years you do not have to pay them back. My brothers and I have paid like 130 G’s in rent in the past 6 years. 2000 a month for 4 years, now its 1100 at our place now and we been here almost 3 years. So you see what I mean, someones mortgage has been getting paid nicely. So hopefully I qualify for that because it would be nice to be paying a mortgage and not rent. 

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My cousins were in town from Vancouver and it was fun, we sipped and talked some shit. But one of my cousins tried to fight me. LOL and I don’t even know why. Just lunged at me, had to hold em down, like I wouldn’t strike my family unless it was really deep. But I have no idea why. He seems like a jealous guy and maybe he thought I was hitting on his woman or something, I couldn’t tell you. But I wouldn’t even do that either. Like shit, sometimes because I am nice to people they think other things. But he’s an idiot, he apologized. Said “he has issues” I said we all do man but that’s no reason for you to try to attack me. But it’s family and alcohol is involved you know. So let it go.

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I need to get out of Calgary soon here. Haven’t left the city for a while. Like over a year I think. Vacation would be nice. I got 2 weeks off before I start my job. Also got some new couches and dinner table. Can’t wait until it is delivered on Thursday. The couches from upstairs come down to the basement for me. So I am pretty happy about that. I think it came to 1800 for the stuff but split that up 4 ways and its not so bad. 3 months to pay it off. So really only like 150 each a month and it’ll be paid off. Indians moving on up in the world. Yezzzir. I aint got nothing else exciting to say. So that’s that. Brapppppppppppppp

My brother…

This mufucka man always wants to go to whack ass old spaghetti factory. Like he thinks it’s the best place on earth. He drives 2 hours to the mountains sometimes and that’s where he eats. Now he’s driving all the way downtown to have it. Like b, we live beside east side Mario’s. go there. Or hey, there’s a local Italian spot down the street that’s bomb go there. For fuck sakes even the Olive Garden is right beside our house. I don’t know what his obsession is with that piece of shit place is. I hate it. I make better pasta at home. He needs to step his taste buds up. Maybe I’m just ranting cause I’m hungry but hate fucken pasta and upset he didn’t choose a next spot. Imma stay home. No nba. This is whack. No son. Even whacker.

Ok pet peeve-rant time

I really hate my brothers cooking, he always adds dumb shit to his meat or too much of it. So he asked to borrow some spinach for a salad and I said okay. He used a can of dole mandarin oranges in there. So the leaves were mad soggy as then he used half of my fucken raspberry vinaigrette on his piece of shit salad that no one ate. Like B, I just bought that shit for 5 dollars. Smh. So then he makes shrimp or prawns. Same thing. But he doesn’t peel the fucken tails off and cooks it. That’s a big pet peeve for me. It’s just ewww. So then he talking to my cousin saying he can’t have medium rare shrimp it has to be really cooked. Then I laughed and I said that shrimp you buy is already cooked man. Then just frozen. 😂😂😂😂 he didn’t say nothing. These are reasons why I do not eat his cooking. Just not my type of shit. Ya feel me…. Okay I’ve had enough. It pissed me off he used that much of my dressing. That’s all. I feel better now.

Sometimes I get to thinking

You know I’ve been single a long time and a single parent longer. And I eventually want kids. Like soon, once I’m done school. But like I get to thinking and fuck what if that shit doesn’t work out and I’m stuck with a next baby mom who I’m not to keen about. And it’s all back from square one. I also think it would be weird always having someone around and parenting with me because I am so use to doing this shit on my own. But I guess that’s life and that’s where I would benefit from it. I guess it’s all in taking it one step at a time. First the wifey and then the years and then the child. Children still scare the fuck out of me. Speaking of which I’m gonna have a new baby brother by the end of August. My dads woman found out today its gonna be a boy. Damn. That’s 6 boys for my dad now. He putting in work!!!!! I heard his woman wants 5 kids. She wanna one up my mom LOL but pops is gonna be 50 next year. Hell be going to head 6 grad and hell just be 65 lol he don’t want that. Damn.

Whole on star

I’m sick and tired of people who decide to eat healthy and exercise and post every time they go to the gym and show what they eat. Half the time their “clean eats” food looks fucken terrible and it’s not even that clean. Like shorty you cannot have white rice everyday and think you’re eating clean. And I don’t really give a fuck about you and your gym routine. “Motivation” what fucken motivation. Why don’t you just be silent and then post the results. Like I’m at the gym and eating healthy everyday. You don’t hear me saying all this fucken shit. But then again I read a study about people who tell what they’re gonna do are less likely to do it opposed to someone who’s quiet because telling someone you’re gonna do it release a fake trigger of accomplishment in the brain. Celebrating for deciding you’re gonna do it. Then not actually do it or stay committed. Like I just roasted a whole fucken chicken and that shit is bomb. Sometimes people just rub me the wrong way. Pause. I do send my friends pics tho because sometimes I do like people knowing what I’m eating to show that an Indian really throws down.

exam

How is one suppose to study for an english exam? Like damn, I don’t know. I just feel like what the fuck am I suppose to. I will write out the things tomorrow. I need to go sign up for a gym membership, or maybe get the two weeks free thing. That would be dope. Cause I aint trynna get fat boy status again. Especially because I will be wearing business clothes. 

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